


I’ll Always Be Heere

by lost_pastelprince



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, boyf riends - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Dysphoria, Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Character, at the beginning though, just cuteness, trans!michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 05:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_pastelprince/pseuds/lost_pastelprince
Summary: Michael has pretty bad dysphoria, but that’s what Jeremy Heere is for.





	I’ll Always Be Heere

Jeremy and Michael were sat in the latter’s basement, playing video games. For the first time in what seems like forever, Michael wasn’t very interested in the game the two were playing. He hugged his knees, his face in a frown.  
“Hey, Mikey, are you okay? You don’t look very interested in the game.” Jeremy spoke up in a soft voice, pausing the game. Michael shrugged, turning to Jeremy.  
“Yeah.. I guess I don’t feel like playing right now?” he explained, putting down the controller gingerly and letting his shoulders slump as he looked out into space.  
“Mikey?” Jeremy was getting more concerned as time went on. Michael hardly ever acted like this! Something serious must be going on. He got up from the beanbag and walked over to his boyfriend’s, gingerly sitting down. Michael gave him a half-hearted smile, putting his head on his knees before reverting to the frown he had on his face before. The taller boy wrapped his arms around Michael, resting his head on top of the other’s.  
The silence shared between the two was somewhat awkward, but mostly peaceful and comfortable. A lot of the time, they didn’t even need words to talk to each other, being able to communicate through grins, sighs, glances, and if the time calls, pants and moans. Sure, the two have never actually had sex because of Michael’s dysphoria, but Michael loved to give Jeremy blowjobs and handjobs to fulfill his high sex drive. He didn’t think that Jeremy should always to jack off just because Michael’s body hates him. That’s what Michael loved most about their relationship. Jeremy always respected Michael’s boundaries, whether it be with sex or something like spending time around other people.  
“Um.. Jere.. can I ask you a question?” he finally spoke up, turning and looking at Jeremy.  
“Of course you can Michael, what’s up?” Jeremy responded, raising an eyebrow. Michael took a deep breath, hugging his knees even tighter.  
“Do you, um.. do you think I’m a real boy?” Michael asked nervously, tears starting to well up in his eyes. Jeremy gasped, moving closer to him and hugging him softly.  
“Mikey, I don’t think you’re a real boy. I _know_ you’re a real boy, no matter what anyone else says. I don’t care what your family says, you’re my boyfriend and I love you so much.” he reassured, Michael letting the tears fall down his cheeks.  
“B-but... how?! L-look at me! My hips are t-too wide, and my thighs are j-just too big, and m-my voice cracks and is too high because of the testosterone! And I know it’ll be a lot better for me w-when it starts to r-really kick in, but what if it n-never does? I j-just wish that I could b-be like you, and n-not have to bind and p-pack!” he rambled, clinging onto his boyfriend’s shirt tightly and hiccuping while gasping for words. “E-everytime I go to g-get dressed or I go to s-shower, I’m just suddenly aware of everything t-that’s wrong with m-me! Like my stretch m-marks, my c-chest, my stomach, the marks on my wrist from harming m-myself, and it just gets silly towards the end, like my fucking cheeks! Why do I hate my cheeks?! Hell if I know!” Michael yelled, his voice getting louder with every thing he listed.  
Jeremy’s heart broke seeing his boyfriend like this. He cradled him slightly, somewhat difficult considering Michael wasn’t that much smaller than him, but he could make it work.  
“Shh, Mikey.. Can you.. can you look at me?” he whispered, knowing how Michael got when his dysphoria was really bad. Jeremy’s relaxing voice usually calmed him down instantly, but tonight, it was even worse than normal. Tears wouldn’t stop flowing down his face, and he began to shake. “Is there a reason why your dysphoria’s bad tonight, baby?” Jeremy asked, rubbing circles in Michael’s back. He was silent for a few seconds, taking shaky breaths.  
“I.. I’m on my p-p-perio.. period..” Michael stuttered out, hardly even getting the words out of his mouth. He hid his face in Jeremy’s shirt, sobbing even louder. Jeremy frowned, lifting Michael’s chin to look at him.  
“Hey, Mikey.. I’ll tell you what. Let me get you some food, some comfy pajamas. Are you having cramps?” he asked, smiling at his boyfriend. Michael nodded, messing up his glasses to wipe the tears from my face. “Okay. I’ll get you a heating pad. Stay right there.” Jeremy said, planting a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek before running up the basement stairs two at a time.  
Michael smiled as the lanky boy stumbled through the door, trying to get all the things he needed. It was the first time that he had really smiled that night, and he suddenly realized why.  
It was because of Jeremy.  
His boyfriend made him so happy, and no matter what mood he was in, Jeremy could pull him right out of it, sometimes without even trying. He snuggled into the beanbag, turning into a light shade of pink just thinking about Jeremy.  
As if on cue, Jeremy came rushing down the basement stairs, arms full of assorted things. He dumped them on the floor, panting and out of breath.  
“I’ve got chocolate, chips, sodas, some clean underwear, pajamas pants, a t-shirt, pads, and a heating pad!” he exclaimed, grinning proudly. Michael crashed into Jeremy, holding back a sob.  
“T-thank you so much! I l-love you... s-so much!” he cried, clinging onto Jeremy. “Um.. can you.. turn around? I need to change..” he trailed off, nervously fiddling with his thumbs.  
“Oh! Yeah, let me know when you’re done, okay?” Jeremy responded, kissing his cheek and laying on the bed, respecting Michael’s privacy.  
There were a few minutes of shuffling and struggling until Michael cleared his throat, letting out an awkward laugh.  
“Uh, Jere-bear? I need your help. I’m kinda... s-stuck.” he explained, turning a bright red. Jeremy snorted, walking over to his boyfriend, who was facing the wall.  
“Do you wanna stay that way, or do you feel comfortable facing me? It may be easier facing me, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” he asked, wanting to make sure Michael was always happy and not uncomfortable.  
“I-I’ll turn around... but c-can you, um.. not look? I mean, on p-purpose.” Michael slowly turned around, taking a shaky breath. Jeremy nodded, getting to work on getting his boyfriend out of his binder.  
“Jesus Christ, Mikey, how do you do this everyday?” he joked, finally getting it off. He handed it back to Michael, smiling and returning back to the bed. Michael quickly changed into the shirt that Jeremy had given him, a Star Wars print that he had definitely stolen from Jeremy years ago. Instantly, he put his signature red hoodie back on, hopping onto the bed with Jeremy.  
“Do you want the heating pad now, baby?” the skinny boy asked, placing a hand in Michael’s hair and messing it up.  
Michael nodded, propping himself up with pillows as Jeremy grabbed it, gingerly placing it on Michael’s stomach. He smiled at Jeremy, making Jeremy’s heart stop for a second.  
No matter how long he’s been dating Michael, every time he smiles or does anything slightly cute, it sends Jeremy into a blushy mess.  
He wiggled his way next to Michael, planting kisses on his face every few seconds.  
“Jeremy!” Michael suddenly exclaimed, startling the living soul out of Jeremy.  
“What is it, Mikey? You didn’t have to scream, I’m literally right here.” he joked, sticking his tongue at Michael and laughing.  
“Can you get me my Jere-bear?” he pleaded, sticking his bottom lip out. Jeremy nodded, searching for the teddy bear that Michael had made when the two of them went to Build-A-Bear Workshop.  
They were just walking around the mall together, holding hands and being a dorky couple, when suddenly, Michael gasped and pointed towards the Build-A-Bear Workshop, turning towards Jeremy and jumping up.  
“Jeremy! Can we make teddy bears?! Pleaaasseee?? I wanna make a little Jeremy bear!” he begged, clasping his hands together. Jeremy sighed, looking towards the shop, and shrugging. Michael smirked, folding his arms and giggling. “I’ll suck your dick.”  
“Let’s go!” Jeremy almost yelped, dragging Michael towards the store, his face bright red.  
“Yay!” Michael cheered, rushing into the store, his eyes lighting up. Jeremy came to his side, smiling at the way his face lit up.  
About twenty minutes, they both have teddy bears that resembled the other, minus the patches on Michael’s hoodie and his headphones. Jeremy claimed he was paying for both boy’s teddy bears to be kind, but Michael knew why.  
“You realize I’m not actually gonna give you a blowjob, right?” Michael joked, swinging his new stuffed animal around. Jeremy stopped in his tracks, giving the other boy a look of disbelief. Michael laughed, running down the long corridor and leaving Jeremy behind.  
Jeremy smiled at the memory, placing the teddy bear next to Michael and kissing his forehead.  
“Nope. You gotta kiss the bear too.” he stated, holding the stuffed animal up. Jeremy rolled his eyes, giving the bear a quick peck. Michael burst out laughing, hugging the bear to his stomach. “I knew it, you furry!” Jeremy gave Michael a glare, but was secretly happy to see his boyfriend happy and laughing again.  
Michael yawned, snuggling up to Jeremy. He smiled up at Jeremy, grabbing his head and bringing it towards him so Michael could kiss his boyfriend.  
“Can you sing for me?” he whispered, his eyes starting to shut. Jeremy scrambled for a song to sing, finally settling on Finding You by Kesha.  
“ _I'm gonna search for your love, right through Hell and Heaven_  
_Millions of years yet to come and in all dimensions_  
_I know that you'll always be my happy ending_  
_My happy ending..._  
_I know forever don't exist_  
_But after this life, I’ll find you in the next_  
_So when I say "forever," it’s the goddamn truth_  
_I'll keep finding, finding you.._ ” he sang in a hushed voice, lulling Michael to sleep.  
Looking down, he could tell that his boyfriend was out cold. His mouth was open just a bit and he was snoring just a bit. Jeremy smiled, a blush appearing on his face.  
“I love you, Mikey.” he whispered, kissing the top of Michael’s head and closing his eyes.

 


End file.
